It’s been a while since I’ve posted and a lot has already happened. To sum it up, the past year have been a rollercoaster ride of laughter and tears. I started med school and got into a relationship I was not ready for. I met new friends and found a family in them. One that I would cherish forever.
Relationship-wise, I did it again. I dived into it too soon. Don’t get me wrong but those few months with him were really happy. He legit made me feel like I was the most beautiful person in the world. He made me feel loved. But I got scared, he was so sure of his feelings for me and I wasn’t sure with mine. I didn’t want to be unfair so I let him go. Quite a stupid move for my part because I had someone who was so sure of me. I just couldn’t bear the guilt of knowing that I can’t equal all those feelings.
Plus, I am in med school. Not really a good reason to end a relationship but it was a factor. I got so busy, caught up in all the schoolwork and didn’t have time for him anymore. He was so understanding but it was already so unfair for him. My studies plus the unsure feelings that I have made me decide to put a stop in our relationship.
It hurt but I know I hurt him even more. And for that I am so sorry. You were everything I could’ve wished for and I thank you for everything. Maybe there’s a future for us in another lifetime. But for now, I’ll settle with being friends.
So Medical School is whole different level of war. You fail almost all of your exams but you do not have the time to mourn for those grades because another set of exams are coming your way. You cry because you’re tired and frustrated but you have to move to prepare for another day.
Yes, Medical School is not a walk in the park. But I still got something good out of it. I met brilliant doctors and really good friends. Though the schedule is really tiring, at least I get to spend the day with great people. Without them, I probably would’ve given up long ago.
I am so grateful for being placed in a very dynamic group. A lot of personalities do clash but we got over it and usually have fun nowadays. It’s just sad to think that as this school year is coming to an end, I wouldn’t get to spend my free times with them anymore. I would miss all the chikas and food trips, all the laughter and even the drama. We got through a lot together. I would truly miss them.
The past year made me realize that you are never really prepared for anything. You just got to face each challenge and do your best to survive. Life is really messy but you get used to it. And eventually learn to love it.
Unspoken Thoughts 