Easy come, easy go.

In one way or another, life can be cruel that way. One second he was there and in another he was gone.

I don’t like it when things change. I am one of those girls who dream about true love and happily ever afters. Those Disney movies really made a great impact on my childhood. I even believed that being a princess was a job.

It all came to a stop when I was old enough to understand the works of the world. But it didn’t change my dream about finding true love. Yes, that will remain a dream until I find the one.

But every now and then, a person specifically a boy, may come along. He will sweep you off your feet. Shower you with compliments. And ultimately, will make you fall in love. But the question is for how long?

It all began that one sunny day, he was straight-forward and truthful. I wasn’t sure of anything yet. He said he’d wait. He didn’t wait long. And so we began this so-called relationship. Everything was such a blur, a lot of things happened. He wooed me along the first few months. But suddenly it became confusing. He was there but he was not.

That should have been the warning sign. But I brought it up and he said he’d try to change. I waited for that change. We became official and I continued hoping for that change. It never happened.

People around me have been telling me that I don’t deserve this. But his every excuse was acceptable. It was not like he didn’t want to see or text me. Something always comes up. They told me he needed to give more effort to make this relationship work. I hope realizes this soon because I don’t know when I’m gonna break. I don’t want to continue on thinking negatively about this but I’ve got to let it loose somehow. I need to talk to him. But I don’t know where to start.

But I love him. And we promised to be understand and patient with each other. I’ve doing my best by doing just that. I’ve been doing my part but where is he? How can I make him understand my side when I can’t even reach him?



He said he would change.

She gave him a chance.

But did she make the right decision?

He told her not to expect immediate change. She understood, as long he knew what she really wanted. She waited for it to happen. But time flew, and he was still the same.

Was she just insecure? Or over thinking things?

She hoped he would be there more often. Why was she feeling that way? Why was she feeling scared?

He was there. He was obedient. He was a good boy. He followed whatever his parents told him to do. They were strict. He was caged.

She was free as a bird. She flew wherever her wings would lead her to. But she stuck to the rules. She never crossed the line. She knew her limitations.

She didn’t know what she wanted, but she didn’t want to let go. She loves him. He loves her. But why does she feel like something is missing?


Chat. Talk. Speak. Conversation.

One word with a lot of translations and interpretations.

But for me, we need this to communicate, to clear things out, to explain what happened or to merely talk about oneself to another person.

We talk everyday. We speak to one another and make conversations. But, what makes tête-à-tête different? It is a heart-to-heart talk. You don’t just speak random and easy-going words. But you spill you heart out in this conversation. You let the other person know how you feel.

Many people often have a hard time doing this because they don’t want others to see through them. They don’t want to let the others know who they really are. They are closed off to the people around them. Commonly these kind of people are the cold, business-like ones we meet everyday.

When and how do we initiate this kind of conversation?

When some things are not clear, when a problem comes up and people are involved. You just have to be brave and let the words spill out. Be honest to let them know your side. Sometime it isn’t easy, you don’t want the other party to be hurt. You sometimes sugarcoat the facts, but it will only make things harder later.

A lot can happen within this conversation. Problems are solved. Break ups become make ups. Sadness becomes happiness. But it all doesn’t end this way. Some ends badly, or worse. Relationships ended. Goodbyes said.

But at least after this conversation the weight you are carrying in chest will be lifted. It will give you the feeling of maybe, just maybe, something’s better waiting for you. It will give you hope. And the courage will remind you that you can face any challenges thrown in your way.


Love can be cruel.

Emotions can be confusing.

Confusion makes situations difficult.

“I love you.” “Take care.” “I miss you.” We often hear these sentences uttered by the ones we love and care about. But what do these statements really mean to us? Do we just say or respond to these things because we really feel this way? Or do we just reply to them because we are obliged to?

Love, one word yet so powerful. When we think about this, we often see it on the bright side with all the giggles and butterflies-in-the-stomach moments. But there are two sides to every coin, what if we see it in another perspective? What if we try to understand the things that could make things complicated but cannot be avoided? No couple can have a perfect relationship.

Love can be cruel. We cannot choose who we love. And sometimes cupid can be a jerk, forgetting to hit the other person with his arrow. Now, the person hit with the cursed arrow will have to deal with all the heartaches and pain it may bring him. Unrequited love, it is.

Some are afraid to ruin the friendship, it’s too precious for them to risk taking it to the next level. What if it was worth the risk? What if the feeling was mutual? You can’t remain as BFFs if what you really like deep inside is to be more than that. It will only make the situation unbearable. You have to get out of your comfort zones and try to explore the peaks of making things serious or official.

Others are left hanging. People can also be cruel. Some think of it as a game. They play with your feelings and leave you if they’ve had enough of you. As if you were a broken toy. Or others may lead you on, with all the care and sweetness they direct to you which made you assume there will be something more between the two of you. But in the end, they just leave you hanging, alone, picking up the pieces of your broken heart.

Some enter this ‘relationship’ called M.U.(Mutual Understanding). This is one of the most confusing relationship you’ll ever be in. The phase between friendship and being a couple. Others may think of this as a getting-to-know-you stage. But others interpret this as being ‘taken’. You are single but not available. You are not really dating anyone but you aren’t also allowed to date anybody else. The worst part of being in this kind of relationship is not knowing what you both are, where you stand in each others lives.

And thus emotions enter the equation. You have this special someone but you’re not ‘officially’ together. And then at some point, you get busy with each of lives and have less time together. You loose communication for days and sometimes for weeks at a time. And when you finally regain the communication, all your conversations aren’t that comfortable anymore. You feel awkward and confused. Then you think, or in most cases, over think about it. And all those questions and doubts begin to form. What am I really feeling? What if it’s just me? I don’t want to hurt him. What should I do? Should we even continue this relationship?

Confusion. You don’t know what to believe in anymore. You’re confused by your own feelings. You ask for advice. You only get more confused. You think a lot. You’re tired of doing that all the time. The other person doesn’t even know what’s going on in your head right now. You feel guilty without any reason. You don’t know what to do.

After all the thinking and confusion, the decision will always be up to you. You choose for yourself. You choose what’s better for the both of you. It is better to confront it now than to drag it until you’ll both get hurt a lot. You face the consequences later. You just have to be honest to yourself and to your special someone to alleviate the situation.

As I’ve said, love can be cruel, greedy and even selfish. But at the end of the day, you just have to deal and live with it.


The fear of not knowing what might happen next. The fear of making the wrong decision. The fear of hurting someone you love. All of these jumbled into one creates one hollow pit in my stomach.

Everything was going good. Great. Fine. Well. Until changes began and my insecurities kicked in.

I know change is inevitable. But what shocked me the most is the effect it has on people. If we try to go against it, we get hurt. If we try to go along with it, in one way or another, we still get hurt. So what do we do? Nothing. We let these changes define us. Mold us into new beings.

But I don’t want to change. I don’t want him to change. I don’t want us to change.

Anyway, I think it’s too late for that.

It started slowly. Too subtle for me to notice. But the signs were already there, I was just too much of a coward to acknowledge it.

We haven’t seen each other in months. We’ve sent each other messages that lasted only for a few minutes or hours. We haven’t really been talking. I know we’ve tried. A lot. But something comes up at the last minute, and plans get cancelled. Always. And all I get is the reason and your apology. The same reasons you’ve been telling me the last few weeks.

I’m tired of listening to those. But I always tell you it’s okay. I don’t want to start a problem or a fight. But even with that feeling of not wanting a fight, I don’t think it’s working. Something’s not right. Something’s missing.

Or maybe this is just me missing you. I don’t know.

You tell me things that makes me feel special. You make me feel like I’m special. But it’s only until those words. Where are the actions? Where are your actions?

Am I wrong to want your attention? You’ve been giving it to me willingly a few months ago. Maybe I got too caught up with it. It made me think I would always get that from you. I guess I was wrong. Things change and so do people.

How can we go on when I don’t even know what I feel anymore? What are we? We’ve tried fixing this. We talked about this. You said you’d try. I tried to understand. But I’m still confused.

And the worst part of all is we’re in this relationship we can’t even call a relationship. I don’t know where I stand. I don’t know who I am in your life.